


Damian Wayne: Life After Batman

by IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight (Menochange)



Series: The Ballad of Damian Wayne [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics)
Genre: Adventure, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne is the oldest, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Mentioned of death (minor characters), Resurrection (Past), Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim is always the replacement, character death (mentioned), not sure if that tag counts because it refers to Damian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-06-18 05:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15478659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menochange/pseuds/IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight
Summary: Fourteen year old ex- assassin/vigilante Damian Wayne has been replaced with a shiner new model.Unwilling to go back to the mother who had him killed and realizing there is no longer a place for him by his father's side, Damian leaves Gotham and sets out to find his own path.Despite his best efforts he somehow starts picking up stays along the way and slowly begins to realize that blood isn't the important thing when it comes to family.Reverse Batfam story.





	1. And So it Begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Again.  
> So this is the sequel to "It's Inevitable, When You Grow Up Your Heart Dies"  
> Can be read as a stand alone.

**Now**

In a way it was ironic, funny even how things turned out. That the very reason he wanted to leave was the thing that compelled him to stay.

Timothy Drake. The genius boy wonder, Batman’s new partner. The replacement.

Standing here watching as blood drips down the younger boy’s face Damian wonders whether in some alternate reality things would have been different – Or if this had always been their fate. Their whole lives forever entwined, the future forever changed by a single decision resting in his hands; one he has yet to make.

But he was getting ahead of himself. This isn’t how their story started, this wasn’t where it really began.

**Two Years Ago**

Damian stared out the window, watching but not really seeing anything, the scenery blurring together as the bus sped down the highway, it had been a few months since he had been resurrected and he was still so lost – not physically, obviously he knew exactly where he was (well he didn’t know his exact location at this exact moment but he was aware of where he was generally and he definitely knew where the bus was taking him which was all that really mattered) but he was lost in the sense that he had no idea what he was doing, his life had no direction anymore. He couldn’t go back to Gotham – even if he could get past the whole replacement thing and manage to avoid his father, there was still the small matter pertaining the fact that he was technically dead and being Bruce Wayne's son meant that he had been practically thrusted into the spotlight the moment he set foot in the manor 6 years ago so it was highly unlikely that he would go unrecognized if he just showed up on the streets one day. No, Gotham just wasn’t an option and going back to live with his mother was not even something he could even deign to imagine at this point, he wasn’t going to crawl back to the woman who had him killed and even if that was an option; he wouldn’t – couldn’t –  kill for her, that just wasn’t who he was anymore.

It wasn’t like he had suddenly grown into a good person, a hero after his resurrection; he did _not_ wake up and suddenly believe in his father’s holier than thou moral bullshit that had been crammed down his throat since he had been placed in his father's care, but nor does he still believe in the league's way of doing things. Killing isn’t the be all end all of being a good person, Damian truly believes that sometimes it is necessary – some people cannot be reformed, they don’t deserve mercy if they are just going to turn around and kill others. On the other hand he doesn’t believe in killing for the sake of killing anymore, sometimes it is necessary but most of the time it isn’t. He’s not like his mother, he isn’t evil; but, that being said he isn’t exactly good anymore either. He is no hero and to be honest he never was, he just tried for Batman’s sake; he tried so hard, he gave his all to do what was expected of him - for years. All he wanted was for his father to be proud of him, so the man would love him. But somethings were just not meant to be, clearly his father had always seen through his attempts, had always known that Damian wasn’t innately good, like him. That’s obviously why he was replaced, proof that the man never loved him because Damian was expendable, a pawn to be used in his fight for _Justice_ – it was always about _Justice_ with his father. His father was no better than his mother, he was a naive child to believe otherwise but he knew better now; He didn’t need them, he didn’t need anyone, he would be fine alone.

He had always been alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, Let me know what you think :)  
> Next chapter is Goliath.


	2. Goliath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A misunderstanding leaves Damian with a new but somewhat unwanted (but not really) friend.

**One year, Ten months ago:**

**Goliath**

He hadn’t meant for things to turn out this way, to be honest he wasn’t even supposed to be here but he had switched caravans last minute because of the man with the green keffiyeh. It wasn’t the man’s head covering that caught the young ex-detectives attention but rather the large cargo that the man was transporting – but that in and of itself wasn’t very unusual in these parts and Damian wasn’t his father, he wasn’t going to get involved in things that weren’t his concern. So the young teen was set on going his merry way until he saw said cargo move, whatever was in there was alive and Damian cursed as he resigned himself to the fact that he couldn’t just let things be anymore. If this was human trafficking he had to step in; his father’s brainwashing had made it so he could no longer turn a blind eye to such things, helping the weak and innocent was now ingrained in his very being.

Which was why he had spent the last three days following the man, all the way to Al-Qawiya; the capital of Bialya. It wasn’t exactly how Damian imagined the illicit deal to go down, back in Gotham things like these would be done on the night of a full moon, both parties would meet in a decrepit location such as an abandoned docks or warehouse (of which Gotham seemed plentiful). Then at the stroke of midnight the deal would go down (the Gotham underground seemed to have a flare for the dramatics), armed guards would be put on patrol, the goods would be shown usually some sort of foreplay would precede the actual event with words or fists depending on the aforementioned parties and whether there was a double cross (This would usually be done in some sort of theatrical monologue or repartee again this varied from group to group). If everything went according to plan money would be exchanged and everyone would be on their merry way – that is if Batman didn’t catch wind of it and show them justice, if this was the case they usually didn’t even get to the end of the actual showing of the illegal product before the vigilante stuck.

In Bialya it seemed this was not the case instead the trafficker Damian was following casually walked straight into the crowded marketplace in the middle of the day, his goons trailing behind him as they carried the large crate through the streets covered only by a thin sheet. They made no move to cover their actions and stopped to talk to a few stall owners they passed by like they didn’t have a crate full of people with them. Finally they reached the edge of the last stall and walked into a large building – which was honestly a relief, things were finally starting to make a little bit of sense because whilst it wasn’t a decrepit building (quite the contrary actually, it seemed as though everything inside this building was shiny and ornate) it was at the very least out of sight from the general public.

Damian ducked behind a grandiose pillar to watch the exchange without being seen. The man with the green keffiyeh walked up the steps greeting the rather portly man dressed in fine silks. The well-dressed man sat upon a lavish green Chaise lounge surrounded by scantily clad women, one of whom was feeding him grapes of all things – obviously the man had no sense of originality.

They exchanged pleasantries before the trafficker indicated to the box, a nod was given and a briefcase of what the young Wayne assumed to be money was handed over without all without an inspection of goods. That was just poor business if nothing else. Damian jumped out of the shadows intent to catch both the traffickers and the buyer before anyone could get away. With the aid of a smoke bomb and a few well-placed kicks (as well as a rather vicious jab of his katana) he took down the goons with relative ease. The trafficker retreated like the coward he was, hiding behind the portly man’s bodyguard who had yet to attack.

“What is the meaning of this boy?”  The silk covered man asked clearly outraged that the ex-assassin had broken up his trafficking deal with ease.

“I may not be the son my father wished, but I will not allow innocents to suffer when I have the power to stop it” Damian declared aiming his katana at the man menacingly.

“Innocents? Speak plainly boy. Why are you here?”

“Speak plainly you say? Fine. You are a monster who preys on the weak and I am here to stop you. You who plays with the lives of others. I’m going to tell you once and only once to let those people go and I may decide to spare your wrenched lives”

“How dare you speak to me in such a manor boy? Obviously you have been taught no respect for your betters. But regardless of your insolence, I have no idea of what you are referring. I have taken no people and you would do well to watch what you accuse me of boy.” The man threatened rising slowly from his seat.

“Oh can it old man! I know what’s in that box. I know that you paid that snivelling worm. I saw it. Scum like you who play with the lives of others deserve to die!”

“You’re here for the beast? Is that why you dare defile my home?” The man’s round face, coloured darkly with anger.

“Beast? No I’m here to free the people. Don’t try to fool me with your pathetic tricks” Damian raged, feeling his anger coiling in the pit of his stomach at the other man’s arrogance.

“You foolish, arrogant child, open the box then and prove me wrong” The portly man sneered at him

Damian faltered at the confidence in the man’s tone, he couldn’t be wrong could he? No. This man was a criminal plain and simple. His belief reaffirmed Damian dramatically pulled the sheet off the crate, wedging the edge of his sword to the edge to leverage off the side of the wooden box. He smiled in triumph, ready to wipe the smug look off that fat bastards face when a small red bundle of fur bounced out, the collar seated tightly around it’s little neck stopped it from flying away – not that it’s wings looked large enough to actually support it’s body weight.

“What… What is that?” He asked confused as he looked at the furry winged animal that sat chained before him.  

“That child, is a Bialyan Dragon bat. And now that you’ve been proven wrong boy, how do you plan to give me as restitution for all the inconvenience you’ve caused me?

“I have nothing for you old man, but a warning. Do not call me boy again.”

“Ha. Youth will not absolve you of responsibility **boy.** What are you eleven? Twelve? Your immaturity is evident by your lack of discretion and poor observation skills. Obviously that father you spoke of taught you nothing. The Gods must have realised that a boy like you needs a strong parental figure and have sent you to me.”

Damian stared at the creature in disbelief as the man continued to talk, internally cursing himself for his stupid mistake. He had automatically assumed that the movement from the crate was people and not an animal, it was a baseless assumption and he should know better. It was probably for the best that Batman didn’t know he was live especially since he was making such novice mistakes.

The ex-vigilante tuned back in to hear some nonsense about how the fat bastard would be his new father. He also spouted some bullshit about Damian fighting his son, then repaying a debt to the man and there may have been some garbage about him taking his first steps into manhood. To be honest the teenager didn’t actually care, he had enough parental figures let him down; he honestly didn’t need another one.

“What are you going to do with the dragon bat?” Damian interrupted, impatient to leave but unable to abandon the poor creature to its fate.

“Boy, you’ll soon learn that you shouldn’t interrupt your elders. But I suppose if you must know I haven’t decided yet. I may keep it since it’s the last of its kind. But I may also just kill it if it proves to be more work than it is worth. The useless runt didn’t do its job.”

“What happened to its family?”

“That’s none of your concern boy. As your new guardian, it is my duty to teach you…”

“It’s not a runt, it’s a child. Did you kill its family? You know what, it doesn’t matter I have an offer for you. I will leave and take the creature with me. In return you get the pleasure of not parting with your teeth. Also you are not my new guardian, I am the son of Bat…no one … I am the son of no one and I do not need a fat, pompous useless asshole like you trying to be my father”

“You insolent child! Do you know who I…” 

Damian didn’t let him finish his sentence before he attacked. He didn’t kill any of them but none of the guards (that had suddenly shown up half way through his attack of his would be father) came out of it unscathed, or without at least one broken bone. He used the last of his smoke bombs to cover his tracks as he freed the creature and fled the city. He travelled for hours mostly on foot trying to get as far from the city as possible, finally he found sanctuary: far across the desert he reached a grove of trees that followed a small stream.

It was only after he had left the city that he realised that the man was probably some sort of noble or perhaps even higher up the food chain given his lavish clothing and ornate building that may in hindsight have been a palace.  So he may have just made an enemy of a Bialyan king all for a fluffy red thing that he doesn’t event want. Great, he was obviously doing so well without Batman.

“Ok, I’ve wasted enough time and effort on you, you’re free now. Get lost.” Setting the red bat-beast down he turned around and started walking, the beast child would be fine. It would have food and shelter which is more than Damian himself could hope for on his arduous journey back to civilisation. He would have to avoid Bialya and any of its allies for a while, not that it mattered – it’s not like he had any real direction. For the most part he had just been wondering aimlessly for the last few weeks.

“Skree”

Damian turned around to find the small bat-thing following him like a puppy.

“No, Get lost.” He glared at the beast.

“Skree” it chirped again moving closer.

“You stupid animal, go away. I don’t… I can’t” He started to scold the animal only for it to ignore him. It moved unafraid until it was right in front of him.

Damian dropped to his knees, he told himself it was to look the beast in the eyes, so that it knew he was serious but really it was because he was weak – because he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

The creature put a paw on his thigh, stabilising itself before it licked his nose. The truth of the situation hit him all at once, they were the same. They were both alone, neither of them had a home to go back to, no one who cared about them. Damian felt tears fall down his face as he gathered up the small dragon bat in his arms. They didn’t have to be alone anymore. They would be together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An so a friendship was born.  
> Up next Maya :)


	3. Interlude: Superboy #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I lied no Maya just yet instead I present: The adventures of Superboy and Raven ....kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how I feel about this one. Went in trying to write Maya came out with a paragraph about Jon. So then I was like ok sure I can do like a couple 100 words about Superboy and what he's up to atm end up with a little over 4000 words of pure backstory into the Dami- Jon BFFL saga.

“Why did you do it? Why did you decide to become a Superhero?”

 

Jon remembers being barely 10 years old when his powers started coming in and his father was _finally_ coming around to the idea that Jon could work beside him – after many, many ‘discussions’ where Jon presented his very logical arguments to Superman like an adult (“ But daaaaad, Raven is allowed to be Batman’s partner” “Batman treats Raven like an equal” “I’m not a kid, I can fight crime too” “Raven doesn’t even have powers” “Why can’t you be like Batman, just give me a chance” “It’s not fair dad! Raven was waaay younger when he started” “Why don’t you ever take me seriously””Moooooom, tell dad that he’s being a mean, I can help”).

The question had been innocuous enough that Jon didn’t even hesitate – even though his parents were both reporters and had made him promise to stay away from reporters, he was warned, in depth about answering questions and how words could be twisted and used against him – He had turned to the crowd of people who had gathered to watch the amazing take down of the latest villain by the new father-son super-team and beamed widely at them as he scanned the crowd for the person who asked the question.

“I wanted to help people who need help. I like that I can help people, and now I get to do that alongside my dad” He had smiled at the brown haired child who smiled back, shyly hid slightly behind a woman Jon presumed was her mother. His own father beamed proudly at him as they left ruffling his hair at a job well done and that was that. No further thought needed.

That was until a few days later when Jon saw himself on TV and realised his answer had been a lie. He had fretted, worried and even cried because he had felt like such a fraud. He couldn’t even tell anyone because his identity was secret for a reason and his parents would be so disgusted if they ever found out the truth. They would be so disappointed that had raised a child who could be so selfish.

It was how he found himself in Gotham city, sitting on a rooftop just waiting. He wasn’t even sure why. It wasn’t like Raven would just show up, because Jon came into the city. They weren’t friends or anything – their fathers grudgingly worked together but also argued a lot, so it wasn’t like they spent a lot of time together and also Raven was kinda mean. But Jon needed someone to talk to, someone whose opinion didn’t really matter like his parents did, someone who would tell him the truth. So he waited.

 

* * *

 

 

Raven’s arrival on the roof was so silent that Jon, even with his super hearing was _almost_ startled by the other boy’s presence. He turned from his seat, feet still dangling over the edge to greet the older (but still shorter Jon though gleefully) boy who glared down at him from his perch on top of a gargoyle – Jon rolled his eyes, could Raven be any more dramatic.

“What are you doing in my city” The older boy growled.

“Technically it’s Batman’s city” Jon snarked back grinning widely.

“Leave”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. I just want to talk.”

“Well I do not wish to converse with you peasant so leave. Now!”

“Wow, who even talks like that?”

“Tt, You’re not even worth my time. I have more important things to deal with tonight” Raven glared down at him before turning to leave.

“No. Wait! I’m sorry, I just…Please, I just need someone to talk to.”

“I’m not a psychologist, I don’t care about your stupid problems. I don’t care if you can’t hack being a superhero, go whine somewhere else. Go home, talk to someone who gives a shit” Raven spat raising an object that looked like a gun into the air  

“If I tell them, they’re going to hate me. My dad, he’s going to hate me” Jon sniffled trying to stop the tears which were threatening to fall.

Raven hesitated, for a brief moment the boy look uncomfortable before he turned away from Jon sighing.

“I don’t have time for this, there are criminals on the loose that I have yet to deal with and Batman is… unavailable tonight” The other boy pause and Jon nodded resigned, they weren’t friends Raven didn’t owe him anything.

“Yeah, Sorry… This was stupid, I shouldn’t have...”

“I wasn’t done” The older vigilante paused glaring at Jon until he was sure he wouldn’t interrupted again “As I was saying, I have criminals to apprehend tonight and Batman does not allow Supers in his city”

Jon opened his mouth to tell the other boy that he understood and to apologise once again – he didn’t mean to be a bother – only to receive an unimpressed stare (which really was impressive considering the fact that the boy was wearing a face mask, covering his eyes), Jon closed his mouth as he felt his mouth heat up in embarrassment.

“ _However_ , since Batman is otherwise engaged for the evening I do not see the harm in you… hanging around. I mean, you _obviously_ need to see what real crime fighting looks like” The boy smirked arrogantly at him but Jon laughed delighted that he didn’t have to leave – even though Raven was being kinda rude, the young super was like 90… ok 75% sure he was joking.

Which is how he found himself laughing through bites of food a few hours later, both of them sitting side by side on the second highest roof top he could find – the highest rooftop he could find had yet another creepy looking gargoyle and Jon didn’t feel like sitting next to it so he made Robin follow him to the next building, the sleek looking tower with the name WAYNE spelt out on the side (which the young bat found amusing for some reason) – looking down on the city as Raven told him a story about a stupid plot he and Batman had thwarted which ended with everyone involved covered in pie. It was nice, just chatting as though they were normal kids and not super crime fighters and Jon wondered to himself if this was what it was like to have a real friend.

“We should do this again sometime” He blurted out before he could stop himself

Raven just raised an eyebrow at the non-sequitur but did not comment, staying silent to allow Jon to dig his own hole.

“I just mean… that this was… you know… fun and stuff, like even though you were super bossy and all I was allowed to do was fly around after you as you fought bad guys (he may have also been so bored that he had thrown rocks, using the bad guys feet as target practice to trip them up but if Raven wasn’t going to say anything then neither was he) – which I just saying would have gone a whole lot faster if I was actually allowed to fight – but like that’s not the point, the point is that I had fun. So I think we should do this again? Maybe?” Jon finished lamely as he was struck with an horrible feeling in the pit of his gut, what if Raven didn’t like him, what if he was just hanging out with Jon out of pity. What if …

“No”

Jon bit his lip, turning his face away from the older boy. He wouldn’t cry, he was Superboy. He wasn’t going to cry just because he had lost the chance to have a friend, a real friend – even before he become a superhero and had to hide his abilities, making real friends had always been hard – one he didn’t have to hide things from. Someone he could talk to and laugh with, someone who would understand what it was like to keep part of himself hidden from the world. No. He wouldn’t cry, he couldn’t, Raven probably thought he was pathetic enough as it was, he wouldn’t…

“Batman doesn’t like supers in his city, but I mean, there’s no rule that I can’t visit metropolis. Everyone knows you could use the help” Jon whipped his head around – fast enough to give a normal person permanent neck problems – to see the other boy giving him a somewhat hesitant smile that was soon replaced by his usual scowl.

Jon beamed, his fears all but vanishing at Raven’s words.

“You wish Batboy. Its fine we both know the real reason you want to come to Metropolis is to see how cool I am in action” Jon snarked back and was rewarded with a soft snort from the Gothamite.

“Please, Metropolis is nothing compared to Gotham, Supers included”

Jon ducked his head still grinning even as he noticed the time on his watch, it was a little past 1am, and he definitely had to get home before his parents noticed he was gone.

“I should go, but this was fun. You’re not too bad, you know for a Bat that is” He smiled cheekily at the other boy to show that he was teasing.

“Yeah, well I’d say the same for you, but father says it’s wrong to lie” The bat smirked gleefully, showing off slightly as he dodged the aluminium wrapper Jon chucked at him good naturedly.

Jon rolled his eyes dusting off any invisible dirt as he prepared to take flight, he smiled widely at Raven before an idea struck him.

Without a word Superboy jumped off the roof flying high up into the sky, doing an over the top flip mid-air and dove back down and taking Raven off guard as he pulled the older boy off the ground and spun him around mid-air. The older boy cursed loudly threading his hands around Jon’s neck in a hold that would have probably suffocated a weaker (more human) person but the half-Krytonian just laughed and took them higher into the air flipping, spinning and just generally showing off as they soared over the streets, the city lights shimmering below them, shining brighter than the stars across the night sky.

When Jon finally set them down on yet another rooftop with a gargoyle – and honestly how many gargoyles did one city need? – He wasn’t even surprised when Raven hit him, cursing his name in a foreign language (or at least he assumed it was cursing but honestly he had no idea what the other boy was saying). He waited for Raven to calm down grinning the whole time.

“That was fun wasn’t it?”

“Fun? You think that was fun?” Raven yelled outraged

“Yeah, I mean wasn’t it?” Jon felt his grin start to slip as he realised he may have miscalculated. He loved flying. If he could only do one thing for the rest of his life it would be flying so he had honestly thought his friend would love it too, he wanted to share that with the other boy but maybe…

Raven let out a deep breath and looked away

….Maybe he was wrong…

“I mean, it wasn’t a completely horrible experience.” The older boy conceded loftily after a lengthy pause in which neither of them spoke.

… Or maybe not…

“I knew you’d like it!” Jon squealed, grabbing Raven once more and spinning them both around, their feet slightly off the ground.

“Damn it Superbrat. Put Me. Down!”

“Oooh, You swore. You shouldn’t do that or your mom will wash your mouth out with soap.”

“Why on earth would mother want to wash my mouth out with soap? What is the use of that?” The other boy looked perplexed.

“Because it’s bad. It’s like a punishment, so you don’t do it again”

“Why soap? If mother really wanted to punish me then she would just challenge me to combat and have me suffer the humiliation by leaving them untreated so all would know I failed”

Jon laughed, Raven was so weird but he was also so ridiculous it was funny – like anyone’s mother would actually do that.

“Anyway, I’m just glad you liked flying. I was worried you might not”

“I… I didn’t say I liked it. I just said I didn’t … completely hate it” Jon wasn’t sure but he thought that the older vigilante might be blushing and grinned even wider at his friend’s embarrassment.

“Well we’re friends now so, I mean, if you ever need a lift you can call me. Ok now I really need to go.” He knocked Raven’s shoulder amicably.

“Friends?” Raven raised an eyebrow skeptically

“Yeah, of course we are friends” With that Jon gave Raven one last smile and got ready to fly home.

“Wait!”

Jon paused turning back to his new friend

“That thing, you were upset about earlier… what was it?”

“Oh, that… really it’s nothing”

 “Tell me” Raven commanded staring him down and Jon deflated his good feelings from earlier melting away.

“I… It’s stupid”

“Superboy.” There was a warning in his tone and Jon bit his lip nervously.

“I… I did a thing the other day, like it wasn’t an interview but like someone asked me a question and I answered and there were people recording it and stuff but I mean, it wasn’t like an official thing. It was just people standing around after me and my dad stopped a robbery. It wasn’t a bit deal and it wasn’t even all that hard because they…”

“Jon. Get to the point”

“Right well I… I mean I, I got asked why I was a superhero and I… I lied”

“You lied?” Raven raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“I mean I said…. I said …”

“That you wanted to help people, I saw it” There was no judgement, the other boy just said it as though he was stating a fact and Jon felt something horrible in the pit of his stomach – sometime during the course of the night, Raven’s opinion started to matter, they were friends now. He didn’t want the bat to hate him but he just couldn’t lie anymore.

“Yeah, well then you know I was lying! I’m a fraud and a liar and everyone is going to hate me when they find out.” Jon yelled tears clouding his eyes in anger

“You don’t want to help people?” The shorter boy asked confused

“No! I mean Yes! I mean… I _want_ to help people, of course I do. It’s just… that wasn’t the reason I became a superhero. I wanted to work with my dad, I wanted to do what you do. I wanted to be able to fly in public and use all these cool powers that I’m starting to get. I didn’t want to hide anymore. That’s the real reason I begged my dad to let me be his partner, that’s the … the reason why I…” the word vomit stopped as the tears took over and his sobs became too much. Raven probably hated him now, he wouldn’t want to be his friend and would probably tell Batman how horrible and selfish he really was and then his parents would find out and they would hate him and oh gosh, it wasn’t like he could deny it because he knew what a horrible person he was and he deserved everything that, wait… what the heck, was that laughter?

Jon looked up trying to look at Batman’s partner, his vision blurred slightly from the tears even as he harshly scrubbed at his face wishing desperately for them to stop.

“A-are you l-laughing?” Jon stuttered out, hurt and anger flooding through his veins. Raven was supposed to be his friend. Well fine, he didn’t want to be friends with someone who laughed at him anyway 

“Ha – ha – ha – It’s just that – ha-ha”

“Stop laughing at me!” Jon yelled tackling the older boy to the ground.

Robin stopped laughing instantly, eyes narrowing as his body tensed ready for a fight as Jon pinned him down.

“You’re mean and I hate you. You were supposed to be … You were supposed to be my friend and I …” He yelled tears still running down his face.

“Kent, enough. I did not mean… It was not my intention to upset you. It just seems absurdly funny to me that you believe you are a bad person.”

“But I am, I am a bad person. I’m lying to everyone… I … I’m not a hero, I’m not doing this for the right reasons and I…”

“What are the right reasons?” Raven asked cutting him off

“What?”

“the right reasons. What are they?”

“Justice and helping people. Being good and kind and, and just doing things for other people because they need help”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why?” Raven stared at him

“I … I don’t understand”

“Yes you do. Don’t be deliberately obtuse Kent. _Why?_ ”

“Because that’s what hero’s do!”

“Says who?”

“What?”

“Honestly Kent if you’re going to ask asinine questions in response to my own questions we will never get anywhere. _Who Kent, who says what makes a hero?_ ”

“I… I don’t under- … I mean my dad I suppose”

“First lesson Superboy. Adults lie.”

“My dad doesn’t lie!”

“Just shut up and listen. Of course he lies, I mean how do you think he hides his secret identity?”

“But… But that’s different”

“Is it? And I suppose your dad says that lying is wrong and that heros should tell the truth right? But a lie even by omission is still a lie Kent.”

“But… I … But…”

“Look I’m not telling you this to be mean, I’m telling you this so you understand. Adults lie. _All_ adults lie. No! shut up and just _listen_ to me Kent. Look this is important because adults are also the ones who make up these rules about who gets to be a hero and why. But the truth is, they’re all just inadequate, insignificant individuals who have nothing better to do with their lives than pander to the masses.”

“Hey! I think I should be offended even though I don’t really follow”

 “What I’m saying _is_ that you shouldn’t worry about what they say makes a hero. If I’ve learnt anything in all my time working alongside my father it is that a person’s actions is more important than their words or their ideals.”

“I’m still not sure I follow completely”

Raven sighed “Ok. Look at it this way. Do any of the reasons you wanted to be a hero actually stop you from helping people? Does your love for flying stop you from rescuing a person from a burning building or saving a cat from a tree?”

“No?”

“Then why should it matter?”

“I… I don’t know?”

“It doesn’t. Now go home Kent. It’s late and I have had enough of your nonsense”

Superboy frowned thinking over everything the older boy had told him. He waved a distracted goodbye to his new friend as he jumped up, launching himself into the air. He gotten a couple of meters off the ground when he finally realised something important.

“Wait, hold on… you said my name, like my real name. How did you know …..” Jon turned around voice trailing off as he looked towards the place where Raven had been standing only moments ago only to find emptiness in his place.

Jon grinned, at least now he had an excuse to come back to Gotham.

 

* * *

 

“Superboy? Is everything ok?”

Jon smiled shakily willing himself not to cry, this wasn’t the time or place.

“Yes, Sorry. I… It’s just been a long day” He forced a smile that he hoped looked more sincere. The interviewer – Lisa Gray from the morning show ‘Hello Metropolis’ – smiled sharply at him, his mother had always said that the woman was a shark and right now she looked as though she could smell blood.

“Getting back to the question, ‘why am I a Superhero?’ ” He started deciding to cut her off before his father, who was standing beside him decided to intervene “I loved the freedom of flying.”

The interviewer laughed politely eyes narrowing slightly as she waited for him to expand on his answer, when he didn’t she looked at him in disbelief “Really, that’s it? Not going to give the usual spiel about how ‘it’s about saving people, helping others’? That seems like a very shallow reason. I mean it’s a little selfish isn’t it? Not helping people because it’s the right thing to do but because you…”

“I think that’s…” His dad started cutting her off but Jon jumped in before Superman could end the interview.

“Is it Ms Gray? Don’t get me wrong, I _do_ want to help people. There are so many people out there that need help and if anything I do can make the world just a little better then I will. My dad taught me that being a hero is about doing the right thing when no one else will. Even when you’re scared. That’s something I believe and try to follow every day. But a while ago a friend taught me something that’s also important – it’s not selfish to have things you love, it’s not selfish to enjoy flying or the freedom of being myself. I’m a person too and I deserve to enjoy things just like you do Ms Gray. It’s only selfish if I refuse to help, it’s only selfish if I had these abilities and didn’t help people even when I could, if I decided to use my abilities for my own gain. But as it is, I’m allowed to love flying it shouldn’t matter as long as I strive to do my best to help the world a better place and I don’t think that’s something I should be judged for.”

Lisa smiled tightly at him, lips pursed, her eyes mocked him. She clearly wasn’t a fan. Jon felt something coil tightly in the pit of his stomach. She didn’t understand, he didn’t explain it right. Or she did and was just a bitch Raven voice snarked quietly in his mind and Jon bit his lip – a part of him hated that he could hear his best friends voice in his head, that he had a snarky stuck up Raven in his mind lived on, spoke to him, sometimes like now he even tried to comfort him – but more often than not this was not the case, usually his friend would tell him the things that no one else would, he would tell Jon the truth – it was the only thing he had left of Raven now that the older boy was no longer … around.

It wasn’t real, he knew that, just like how he could sometimes hear Raven’s heartbeat (a sound he had once known so well) even though he knew that it was impossible. His parents said it was grief, Jon had never lost anyone before. He hated it. He hated that he had lost the one person who could help him through this. He hated how everyone kept giving him pitying looks. He hated Raven for dying and he hated himself for not keeping a better eye on his friend – if he had been paying attention, he would have known, he would have been able to stop it, what good is having powers if he can’t even save his best friend – but most of all he hated Batman. He hated that the man just let his son die, he hated that Raven’s death didn’t even seem to faze him, he hated how insecure Raven had been about his relationship with Batman, he hated the fact that all Raven did when he was alive was done in an effort to please, the very man who didn’t even care that he was dead. He hated him, hated him in a way that he had never hated anyone in his life.

The man had apparently replaced his best friend already, like his own kid didn’t even matter. His father said that was grief too, that batman mourned in a way the rest of us couldn’t understand but Jon thought that was a lie. They may not have been friends (or best friends) for long – his heart ached whenever he thought about what could have been, all the adventures they could have gone on. They could have been a team, they could have been super-partners, they could have even ended up hating each other but now, now they’ll… he’ll never know – but Jon knew Raven would have hated being replaced, especially so soon. He would have hated the new kid and so Jon wanted to hate him too but he knew that wasn’t fair. Red Robin was Batman’s new partner – and Superboy was so glad he hadn’t taken his friends name even though he had replaced him – and he deserved a chance, even though it killed Jon to even think about this imposter taking his best friends place. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t ….

“Son. It’s alright” A warm hand landed on his shoulder jolting him out of his morose thoughts.

“Liar” Raven’s voice accused quietly, as Jon forced what he hoped was a believable smile onto his face as he tried to pay attention to whatever his father was saying, but he couldn’t focus. All he could hear was Raven’s voice filled with distain berating him inside his head “He’s lying to you _Superboy_. You’re a liar Jon, you’re a fraud. You made that whole speech about using your powers to help people, about your love of flying but the truth is you’re useless, you can’t save anyone. You couldn’t save me Jon”

 

“Jon? Sweetheart? Is everything alright?” His mother asked staring worriedly at him from across the dining table – Mom? What was she doing here? Wait he was home? When did he get home? How did he get home? What happened with the interview?

“Baby what’s wrong?” She rested a hand on his cheek and

“Nothing mom. I’m alright, everything good. I’m just feeling tired that’s all”

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me and your father about anything, sweetheart”

“Yeah mom, everything’s great”  

In the end they were all liars.

The truth was no matter how hard he had been trying to pretend; it not alright, nothing will ever be alright again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of me likes it, part of me feels like its all over the place.   
> Originally I was thinking of writing Superboy and Tim chapters in a separate story so when it came to posting this one I was sort of torn. So for now the superboy and the red robin scenes will be included between Damian chapters. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)
> 
> And for real this time : Next up Maya.


	4. Maya Ducard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody is introduced ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is super late I was supposed to update this story more frequently but obviously that didn't happen :(   
> But Maya is here at last so Yay :)  
> Also there is an important announcement about updates in the end notes. :)

**One year, seven months ago: Maya Ducard.**

Damian cursed loudly as the girl smashed her hand into the face of the very same man he had been about to attack. She wasn’t focused and barely trained (so this was slightly untrue, she was trained… far better than some of the so called ‘heroes’ back home, she just wasn’t as good as he was), she was more of a liability than a help (this was true though, Damian worked better alone). He had a plan and once again she had stepped in and ruined everything. This was supposed to be an easy mission, quick in and out without anyone the wiser. Unfortunately his new shadow seemed to enjoy making his life difficult. He called out to Goliath, and was reassured when he got a chirp in response of his little bat’s safety. Now that everything had gone to hell, they needed to get out of here before the man’s backup arrived.

Whistling to his little bat, Damian clamped his hand down hard onto the girl’s bicep –ignoring her obnoxious protests –, pulling her forcefully away from the fight and into the safety of the night.

Once they were a sufficient distance away from danger the ex-assassin turned to the girl scowling.

“What the hell do you think you are doing? You could have gotten us both killed!” He yelled frustrated when the girl only rolled her eyes in response.

“ME? You were the one who dove in to the situation half-assed and misinformed. And unlike you, I was perfectly fine. It’s not my fault you can’t keep up!” She snarked right back and Damian’s scowl deepened.

“Stay out of my way! This has nothing to do with you, so get lost!”

“What? You don’t like it when someone jumps in and sticks their nose where it doesn’t belong? Inconvenient isn’t it? Shame you didn’t have any such qualms when you _murdered_ my father” She glared darkly at him.

Damian huffed angrily before he forced himself to turn away from the girl. He told himself it was because he didn’t have time for her nonsense even as he felt the guilt coil up in his gut. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

* * *

 

 

This had all started a few months ago not too long after he had found Goliath.

Damian had accidently come across information pertaining to his mother who was apparently sending some of her men to retrieve a special artifact before the demon head got wind of it. The teenager wasn’t sure what the artifact was but knew it must be bad news considering that both his mother and grandfather wanted it. Eventually – after many false starts and covert league base break in’s – he found himself in a secluded part of Romania apparently ahead of the his family and any other interested parties. Or so he thought.

It was only once Damian snuck into the small town where the artifact was rumoured to be, that he realised he wasn’t the only one prowling the night. There in a ruined town centre littered with dead bodies and debris was ‘Nobody’ aka. Morgan Ducard. The hired gun was holding a woman hostage negotiating for the odd looking amulet around the other man’s – who Damian assumed was the chief – neck. The chief refused looking broken yet determined trying to reason with the assassin which only seemed to infuriate Nobody further. Damian found himself spurned into action as the assassin killed the woman and took the amulet by force.

The ensuing battle was not pretty but Damian came out victorious (although the casualty count was way higher than he was comfortable with after all his time at his father’s side). He hadn’t meant to kill the other man, not because he thought the assassin’s life was worth sparing but because he had needed answers. He still had no idea what the Amulet actually did. It had been an accident, Ducard had lunged for him and Damian - using a stick and the assassins own momentum – flung the larger man away from him and directly into a sharp edge of debris which violently impaled itself into the his chest.

It was only days later after Damian had put miles of space between himself and the town – amulet tucked safely away in one of his many pockets – that he found out that Nobody had a daughter named Maya. In fact, that was the same moment that he had also found out that said daughter had witnessed her father’s death and had now vowed to kill him. The girl had the proceeded to take his life and amulet which she insisted was hers now that her father was dead. Damian tried to reason with her (not well, because to cover up the guilt that had begun to eat at him – not for killing her father, the man was a piece of shit and most likely as horrible father, no his guilt was purely because she had witnessed it – since she had made her presence known, Damian had found himself getting defensive and angry) which made the girl, Maya more aggressive when she attacked.

The actual battle – compared to the build-up – was over fairly quickly as the girl was skilled but too emotional, which had given Damian the upper hand when she attacked him. He had been drained both physically and mentally at that point and had explained to the girl that he would spare her life if she left him alone.

She refused, but did not attack him again, instead she lay on the ground trying to catch her breath.

 

* * *

 

 

Which is how he now found himself in his current predicament. The girl – Maya – had been following him for weeks now, interfering at inopportune moments and making a general nuisance of herself whenever possible whilst constantly reminding him of her vow to one day kill him. Damian felt himself slowly going insane.

It wasn’t that she was horrible as a person – in fact whenever she wasn’t being a shit Maya was actually decent company (better than being alone anyway) and she was nice to Goliath – it was just that with her around constantly looking for a weakness, an opportunity to kill him, Damian didn’t have an opportunity to relax. She had been right when made the comment about him going into things unprepared, he was just so exhausted. He hadn’t let his guard down since she had arrived and it was starting to screw with his head.

Damian sighed as he stared at Maya for a moment before he turned his attention (most of it, a small part of him would always be alert and ready for an attack) to Goliath, making sure his little bat was uninjured.

“Give me the amulet and I’ll leave you alone” Maya spoke from behind him, voice carefully neutral and Damian laughed.

“I give you the amulet and you’ll attack me again.”

“I won’t. I swear.” She promised and Damian rolled his eyes.

“Oh yes. Because all assassins are known for their pinkie swears.”

“Their pink-what?” She asked, causing his cheeks to redden in embarrassment.

“Forget it. Point is that I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“I thought you could take me in a fight. So really you should have nothing to worry about anyway” She sneered at him.

“Why do you even want it? Do you even know what it does?” He asked finally turning to face her once again.

“Of course I do!” She yelled sounding outraged but Damian heard the undercurrent of uncertainty she was trying to hide.

“You don’t do you. You have no idea what this does!” he accused pointing a finger at her.

“Fine. I have no idea.”

“Then why on earth would you want it? Why would you follow me this far for something so meaningless”

“It’s not meaningless.”

“Why? What are you even going to do with it?” he pushed trying to get her to see reason

“MY FATHER DIED FOR IT, THAT’S WHY. I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO, NO ONE ELSE TO…. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE EXCEPT THAT AMULET!”

Damian froze, the guilt he had tried so hard to ignore came flooding back.

“I… I’m…” He stopped as he heard the girl take a shuttered breath “I can’t give you the amulet. It’s too dangerous for me to just hand over.”

“What does it do?” Maya questioned voice shaky.

“All I know is that my mother is after it and I know that if she want’s then it does no good.” Damian confessed, voice low as though he were imparting a secret.

“Wait … so you have no idea what it does either? You fucking hypocrite.” She glared at him.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out okay! I can’t let my mother or my grandfather get their hands on it until I know why they need it. Knowing them it’ll probably cause the destruction of the world.” He glared back, his body ready in case she tried to attack.

“Okay. Fine. But I’m coming with you.”

“What?”

“If you’re going on some sort of quest to find out what the amulet is then I’m coming with you.”

“What you don’t want to kill me anymore?” he rolled his eyes, tone sarcastic.

“No. I’m still going to kill you. Just not yet. Not until we figure this out. But mark my words I, Maya Ducard will one day kill you … I don’t actually know you’re name” She paused looking at him questioningly.

“You just vowed to kill me! Why would I tell you my name?” Damian asked incredulously.

“You either tell me or I’ll just make up annoying names. How do you feel about murderous buttercup? Princess murdered. No that’s a bit of a mouthful. Oh I know… Delusional Irritating Child  Killer. DICK for short” She smiled evilly at him and Damian sighed in defeat.

“Damian. My name is Damian.”

“What no last name?”

“No. I don’t have one anymore?”

“How do you not have a last name?”

“I just don’t okay. Drop it.”  

“Fine. _Just Damian_ I, Maya Ducard vow to one day kill you. Until that day comes though we will travel together.”

“So how is this any different from before?”

“Just shut up and go get us some food. I’m starving and we need to figure out where we’re going next”

Damian sighed again, feeling a headache coming on. He just knows that he’s going to regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys,
> 
> So just a heads up, all my projects are going on hold – although some may be sporadically updated in the unlikely event that I have free time – for the next few months.  
> I’m going to be in the middle of assessments for the first month and then I’m going away on holiday. So I’m doing one last update on every project I have on at the moment (over the next week) and then I’ll be going dark until January.   
> After that my usual update schedule will be back on and running :)
> 
> Thanks for the support guys and sorry to keep you waiting! 
> 
> Also: Next chapter up (whenever it actually gets posted) will introduce Suren (or may be a Tim interlude but we'll see how it goes)
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


End file.
